Today’s sign:
For the eight days of Hanukkah, my pirate gave to me:
eight eyepatches
seven deck prisms
six beard trimmings
five gold doubloons
four quill pens
three cans of sea loaf
two glass eyeballs
and a pair of sea hose
A customer with a long, gray mullet and rose-tinted glasses is mopped by his son and the mop got stuck in his mullet. His wife has to help him pick out the mop threads.
A girl sings “ I love trash.”
Two Japanese rock stars with translator inquire about lard.

The Saga of the Sausage and the Mouse

Once upon a time, a mouse and a sausage lived together in a beautiful house. They agreed to split the cooking chores. One day, Sausage would be in charge of cooking dinner. The next day, Mouse cooked dinner.

The first night, Sausage cooked soup. Mouse tried the soup and exclaimed, “ This is great! Why does this taste so good?”

Sausage explained that, as the water for the soup came to a boil, he dipped himself in to give the water a nice flavor.

The next night, Mouse decided to try Sausage's recipe. As the water came to a boil, Mouse jumped in the pot. He died. When Sausage came home that night, he found his friend in the pot and was very sad.

Every time you hear sausage sizzling as you cook it, you are hearing Sausage cry for his lost friend.

Dim today. The air smells like sea urchins.

Every Wednesday I contemplate the trashcans. They peer at me from across the street, warped slightly by the glass of the display cabinet between us, with the sign above cut off: “ldg. Supplies” The sign uses quote marks, an ampersand, and a solidus (the slash): a punctuational triumph. The trash cans are the tall, cylindrical type with domed lids and shiny silver springed flaps through which you push your trash. Today there are black, red, and white on display, and below them is a row of signs: “Sale!” “On Sale!” “On Sale!” Once I actually went into Santora Bldg. Supplies because I was in the market for a trash can. Santora may be “the original,” but their bins are not cheap. 80 bucks for a shiny red one. Alvaro brought me an apple but it was not so good.

Highlights of the day:
A guy wearing Adidas flip-flops with one strap taped on with that complimentary Priority Mail tape you get at the post office.

A discussion with a balding man wearing a hand-fired ceramic pin that read “Prokaryotes Eunite.” The discussion involved the term “rotating flagellum,”

A man telling his friend about the mashed potatoes of his youth.

Village of the day: Llanallgo, Wales

Today’s sign:
Our Sea Loaf solves all your Thanksgiving Needs:
Centerpiece
Awkward silences
Vegan cousin
High chair: Presto!
Can = rolling pin

Today’s sign:
Add some sparkle to your smile:
Gold teeth found inside.

One of the first customers of the day was a sweet woman who appeared to be looking for various pieces of a pirate costume. When I asked her if she was dressing up as a pirate for Halloween, she said, “No, I’m going to be Adam Ant.”

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

— Mad Ms. Wannamaker

Two pirates are in the store! They are fully dressed in pirate gear, which I believe was purchased somewhere else. They are lady pirates with hair that touches the ground, hats with feathers reaching their backs. They are amazing! I must ask them where they have come from.

A pigeon just walked into the store. It approached slowly and then wobbled right through the front door.

There were no customers; just me, stamping bags.