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What happens at the Store?
Many have said that upon entering the best pirate supply store in San Francisco, they get a sensation of déjà vu. Others walk in and feel at once the miracle work of an unseen hand. Yet there are those whose eyes bulge and shrink simultaneously while their thoughts are so convoluted that they are unable to shout or mutter the question that most plagues them: “What is this place?”
The store log is weekly account of actual events that occur in the shop, as well as testimonials, comments and complaints from our customers.
May 31, 2006
Something that made me laugh today: a young girl discovered the drawer of ping pong eyeballs, walked over to me, and said, “Hey, look.” She was holding the two eyeballs in front of her own eyes and grinning. Suddenly, one of them slipped from her hand and began to bounce around the store. “Oh, no!” she proclaimed. “My eyeballs are falling out!”
May 24, 2006
This sunny Wednesday afternoon, a very nice Australian man stopped in to admire our shop and thought that our vat of lard was absolutely brilliant! Apparently, in the South Sea, the first wetsuits were actually made by slathering a combination of wool and lard all over one’s body. Also, the men who did the rowing for the ships would slather lard all over their thighs and “buttocks” (his word). This would allow them to slip and slide easily over the wooden benches they sat on, and avoid any chafing in that area.
May 23, 2006
Today’s most interesting visitor: a man from China who, upon being handed his receipt, asked, “If I go home and this shirt doesn’t fit my wife – can I return it when I come back in ten years?”
May 20, 2006
Part of why it’s been so packed today is that tomorrow is Bay to Breakers. I’ve sold at least twelve eyepatches to B2B pirates. Some of these are excited when I tell them there will be many crews of marauders on the route tomorrow, while others seem disappointed to have their clever idea duplicated.
Okay, I just sold another 12 or 13 patches in the last fifteen minutes. Apparently, there are several pirate-themed parties, including one whose theme is pirates vs. cowboys. Yeah, we all know who’s gonna win that one.
May 14, 2006
Captain Van Dusen’ s cousin Lucas came in and bartered with a couple of his friends by performing double overlapping back walkovers.
Question: What is greater than God, eviler than the Devil, a poor man has it, a rich man wants it, and if you eat it, you'll die?
Answer: Nothing.
Question: What has five eyes and cannot see but keeps going?
Answer: The Mississippi River
May 10, 2006
Question: Knock knock.
Answer: Who’s there?
Question: Rita.
Answer: Rita who?
Question: Rita good book lately?
May 02, 2006
