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What happens at the Store?
Many have said that upon entering the best pirate supply store in San Francisco, they get a sensation of déjà vu. Others walk in and feel at once the miracle work of an unseen hand. Yet there are those whose eyes bulge and shrink simultaneously while their thoughts are so convoluted that they are unable to shout or mutter the question that most plagues them: “What is this place?”
The store log is weekly account of actual events that occur in the shop, as well as testimonials, comments and complaints from our customers.
October 28, 2006
A young would-be-tutoree moped around the store despondently after being asked to leave for some less than good behavior. He purposefully combed through the vat for treasure glancing over his shoulder every few moments to see if anyone from the promised land, beyond the 826 flag, was watching. I asked him how he was feeling. “Sad and mad,” he told me. In exchange for his vat-discovered-doubloon, I asked that he draw me a picture of sad and mad. He produced a fantastically detailed pencil sketch of a teardrop boiling and a skull on fire.
October 23, 2006
Nothing funny happened today. Not even the bartered jokes.
Today’s sign:
Inside please find:
-silence
-trimmings
-meats
-replacements
October 16, 2006
A fellow who had just perhaps been spending time with friends, grog and the like was drawn into our store by the mention of “fish” on our sign. We pointed him into the fish theater where upon entering he exclaimed: “Oh *%$#*!” He then stumbled out of the store while muttering that I reminded him of his ex-wife, followed by some not-so-nice things about her.
October 11, 2006
Customer: “Hi. I love, love, love your store. I tell everybody to come here—more important than Alcatraz!”
October 08, 2006
This evening, right before closing, a man came in the store and asked me if the lard was for sale. When I explained to him that it was only for bartering his eyes widened. He said he would be back in five minutes. Moments later he returned with a silver canister and wanted details on how the bartering would take place. I showed him our collections of locks of hair and explained that I had scissors and that all I needed from him was some hair for our collection. He was more than willing. I asked him why he was so interested in the lard and he told me that he had taken his girlfriend on a walk down Valencia St for their first date. They had wandered into the pirate store and she became fascinated with the lard. She began to play with it and then touched his arm with her lard-laden finger. And so, for their one year anniversary, he would give her things to remind her of their first date together, and so, of course, he needed some lard.
October 03, 2006
