826 Valencia - Store Log

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What happens at the Store?

Many have said that upon entering the best pirate supply store in San Francisco, they get a sensation of déjà vu. Others walk in and feel at once the miracle work of an unseen hand. Yet there are those whose eyes bulge and shrink simultaneously while their thoughts are so convoluted that they are unable to shout or mutter the question that most plagues them: “What is this place?”

The store log is weekly account of actual events that occur in the shop, as well as testimonials, comments and complaints from our customers.

January 31, 2007

A pirate arrived from the ship Kamo Ho’ Alii, from Hawaii. He told us his crew includes a deaf man, a mute man, a crackhead, and a drunk Filipino cook. He bought flags to replace some that had been destroyed in a mutiny.

January 27, 2007

Rain.
Today’s sign:
Captain Rick owns a Parka. New Believer in Today!
Lots of customers are wearing parkas.

January 24, 2007

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite Italian food?
A: Boo-ghetti.

January 23, 2007

Q: Why do they put fences around graveyards?
A: Because people are just dying to get in.

January 18, 2007

A visit from a self-proclaimed “amateur pastry chef” who was looking for a lard source. “I want details,” he said. “I’m looking for the good stuff.” He asked if we rendered it ourselves. He asked if our lard came from right up around the organs of the pig.

January 12, 2007

A visit from Mystic Marlow “The Mystifier” who tried to do something mystic with the doubloons.

January 10, 2007

A messenger comes in wearing an all-leather jumpsuit and one of those bike helmets with the chin part that juts out. He’s come to pick up a map to deliver to an architecture firm. He looks disappointed when he finds out it’s a literary map. Then he sighs and leans against the treasure trunk. “I’m depressed,” he says. He takes his helmet off; he has a crew cut. He tells me he spent Saturday repairing his bike and that his mother is bipolar. He asks me if I have a drink. I offer him a paper cup of water. He says, “That is not what I’m talking about.”

January 04, 2007

First day alone in the store, Captain Fitzgerald
2 p.m. Bold Confidence
4: 06 Shaken Courage
4:30 First charge card!
4: 52 Some guy said the Mountain Goats aren’t pirate music.
5:10 Fed the fish!
5:50 Wondering about store dog policy
6:00 Showed a weak will by giving treasure for a sub-par joke


	*Archives* June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005		What happens at the Store? Many have said that upon entering the best pirate supply store in San Francisco, they get a sensation of déjà vu. Others walk in and feel at once the miracle work of an unseen hand. Yet there are those whose eyes bulge and shrink simultaneously while their thoughts are so convoluted that they are unable to shout or mutter the question that most plagues them: “What is this place?” The store log is weekly account of actual events that occur in the shop, as well as testimonials, comments and complaints from our customers. January 31, 2007 A pirate arrived from the ship Kamo Ho’ Alii, from Hawaii. He told us his crew includes a deaf man, a mute man, a crackhead, and a drunk Filipino cook. He bought flags to replace some that had been destroyed in a mutiny. January 27, 2007 Rain. Today’s sign: Captain Rick owns a Parka. New Believer in Today! Lots of customers are wearing parkas. January 24, 2007 Q: What is a ghost’s favorite Italian food? A: Boo-ghetti. January 23, 2007 Q: Why do they put fences around graveyards? A: Because people are just dying to get in. January 18, 2007 A visit from a self-proclaimed “amateur pastry chef” who was looking for a lard source. “I want details,” he said. “I’m looking for the good stuff.” He asked if we rendered it ourselves. He asked if our lard came from right up around the organs of the pig. January 12, 2007 A visit from Mystic Marlow “The Mystifier” who tried to do something mystic with the doubloons. January 10, 2007 A messenger comes in wearing an all-leather jumpsuit and one of those bike helmets with the chin part that juts out. He’s come to pick up a map to deliver to an architecture firm. He looks disappointed when he finds out it’s a literary map. Then he sighs and leans against the treasure trunk. “I’m depressed,” he says. He takes his helmet off; he has a crew cut. He tells me he spent Saturday repairing his bike and that his mother is bipolar. He asks me if I have a drink. I offer him a paper cup of water. He says, “That is not what I’m talking about.” January 04, 2007 First day alone in the store, Captain Fitzgerald 2 p.m. Bold Confidence 4: 06 Shaken Courage 4:30 First charge card! 4: 52 Some guy said the Mountain Goats aren’t pirate music. 5:10 Fed the fish! 5:50 Wondering about store dog policy 6:00 Showed a weak will by giving treasure for a sub-par joke